Friday, January 29, 2010


I have never met a sweeter person than my mother. I've been in a rather gloomy mood today and she encouraged me by just being her. We went for a walk in the rain and talked about ridiculous things that have been bothering me. She is my best friend and the best mom I could ever ask for. She makes me feel special and believes in me to be great. She is such an inspiration to me in the way she teaches, treats people, and lives everyday following the Lord. I hope everyone get's the chance to be blessed by her grace sometime in their life. Tonight while she was making dinner she was telling me a story while eating a tomato and juice squirted out down the front of her sweatshirt. Nothing like you're mom to cheer you up. Thanks mom, I love you.

Why is it that one person alone can tear you down? I've never felt so betrayed and hurt this much by a friend. I guess I've never been called a mistake before. What will it take to move on and realize that God is showing me that he's not the one for me? Why does my heart ache to just be friends like we used to be?

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
-Psalm 34:18


krista joy said...

aww. Jessi.
those words are as if I was reading my own thoughts. I feel the exact same.
This is the hardest thing right now for me...moving on from the past. letting go. Easier said than done.
And I just think to myself, one phrase that repeats over and over "But God is so much more"
He has so much more.
I cling to Him as he heals my bruised heart.
here's some verses that I've been meditating on...
Psalm 63-
Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you.
You satisfy me more than the richest feast, I will praise you with songs of joy.
I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night. Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings,
I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely.
Psalm 31:7- I will be glad and rejoice in your unfailing love, for you have seen my troubles and you care about the anguish of my soul.
How great is the goodness you have stored up for those who fear you. You lavish it on those who come to you for protection, blessing them before the watching world. You hide them in the shelter of your presence, safe from those who conspire against them. You shelter them in your presence, far from accusing tongues.
Psalm 34:18- The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

jessi said...

Oh man Krista, that just gave me goosebumps. I'm sorry that you're feeling this pain too. Moving on from the past and from people in general is such a hard thing to do and it is not enjoyable at all. Thank you so much for those verses. I try to realize in everything that God really is greater than any feeling, any person or anything and that he has total control over our lives. Thank you for being supportive of me and sending me this message. It really means so much to me. You seem like such an amazing girl and it would be a blessing to get to know you better. If there is anything I can do for you, just let me know. We can be sisters in Christ and encourage each other to defeat these trials we are going through.

krista joy said...

Yes yes! Completely agree. Through the trials, God is there. Always loving, never rejecting. Always forgiving, always healing.
You seem amazing as well! I love your pictures,and blog.
And through this, weakness will only cause us to be stronger. I have hope and faith in the end result in which God has promised us.
And to you too, new friend, anything at all, just ask =)

jessi said...

aww thank you. here's to new friends and our loving god!

cearabrown said...

thats the biggest lie i have ever herd jessi. Youre amazing.